XYZ

Once upon a time there were two girls
They didn’t want no ghost stories
All they wanted was to to believe, to trust and to hope
All they wanted was to live without fear
But fear, in disguise, watched them in the crib
One day, during a baby nap, their mother left her children unnattended
Unprotected
Unawere
And the fear saw a chance, so it crept inside them through the holes of their bodies which they did not protect
They didn't know they had to

Unnoticed, it crawled into my nostrils, moving swiftly to the throat
I thought I had a cold, but I was wrong

It slithered inside through the ear canal
I went to the doctor, thought I couldn't hear because of the wax
Didn't suspect a parasite was growing in my head

The fear soaked through their pores, changing slightly the look of their skin - why are you so pale, so white, so desperetely white, people would ask?

They never liked watching horror films, they didn’t want to fall asleep afraid of the monster under the bed

But fear was working its way inside of them for years, until they let their guard down,
until it gained confidence to force itself on them
to slam me onto the ground as if I weighted nothing and break in through the open doors of my body

I never wanted to live in a ghost story

“Let, me in, please, let me in!”
I’m not allowed to talk to strangers
But would you like to play a game?
XYZ….
XYZ…
What are you afraid of?

This work-in-progress explores the evolution of our fears, as something that attracts, that fascinates, that speaks to the deepest hidden caves of our bodies to that which is real, in the reach of the hand, that which makes you run even if the logic brain tells you ‘stop’. Using associations in the form of a children's game "XYZ" it tracks the subconscious links and relations between memories, pop-culture representations, and internalized anxieties. Through languages and embodiment, it speaks about the horror genre as something intrinsically connected to the body raised as female.

Concept: Kasia Zarzycka
Performance by: Kasia Zarzycka and Natalia Keskeny
Tech support: Eleni Vasilonikolou, Joana Cunha Pinto
Performed at Sky Studio Amsterdam
Photos by: Alba Boustanji